Working with Parents to Safeguard Children - Blog 2

Maintaining relationships can be hard work with our nearest and dearest, let alone between schools and parents*. A DSL’s toughest conversations tend to be with parents, where positive engagement has a key influence on children’s outcomes. So, it is surprising that we don’t dedicate more time, training and support to this area.

Working Together to Safeguard Children added a helpful new section on effective principles for working with parents. In this series of blog articles, we will explore what they are and how they relate to school safeguarding practice.

PRINCIPLE 2: Communication should be respectful, clear and not punitive.

Language is powerful. It can:

• evoke an array of emotions
• give meaning
• connect or divide us
• unite or demonise us

The words we use shape us, our values and our behaviours, and they do likewise for others. And despite their power, the words we say only account for an estimated 7% of what we communicate. The other key components are tone and non-verbal language such as warmth, eye contact, proximity, active listening and reciprocity. The same words spoken, can mean and be received different ways depending on these other factors.

When it comes to a relational approach, the way in which we communicate and the language we choose, should be a mirror of the values we have chosen to adopt; empathy, unconditional positive regard, curiosity and authenticity.

Reflect on the following:

1. What support do you get that allows you to be the best communicator that you can be? We cannot communicate effectively when stressed, rushed, tired or lacking motivation. Ensure DSLs receive appropriate and necessary support to perform their role effectively as outlined in Annex C of Keeping Children Safe in Education.
   
   
2. Do all staff understand and utilise relational practice? Not all staff are proficient in communicating with parents, yet little training is provided. School Leaders should think about how they can create the relational culture they want to see, and the resources required for this. Policies/strategies, templates, scripts, role play opportunities, debriefs and staff support are just a few of the ways schools can help shape and drive their culture.
   
   
3. What feedback do staff get about their communication skills? There will be elements of your communication skills that you are unaware of, making feedback a valuable tool for growth and refinement. Appreciative Enquiry and 360-Degree Feedback can be useful tools to support self-awareness and growth.
   
   
4. Do your written records reflect relational practice? Just like our spoken language, our written records should be respectful and free from judgmental or blaming language. Using labels that reinforce stigma and shame such as ‘disguised compliance’ can be misleading and unhelpful. It also does not align with relational practice and may harm efforts to support children. (Read more in NSPCC’s ‘why language matters’ series).
   
   
5. How do you account for the diversity of parents that you engage with and ensure that you communicate in an accessible and inclusive way? This can include using translated materials, easy-read formats, a commitment to Plain English in all communications, and explaining any jargon clearly.

You don’t have to agree with a parent, especially when there are concerns about a child’s safety or welfare, but it’s essential to remain respectful, just as you would expect them to be with you. Practicing professional curiosity and asking thoughtful, open-ended questions is far more effective than making judgmental statements, as it encourages parents to take steps toward helping themselves. One key point to remember is that we cannot make someone change or do something. But the way in which we engage with parents will impact the outcome.

When discussing safeguarding concerns, be clear about the purpose of your discussion; what outcome are you seeking? Then be explicit about the specific concerns, your school’s safeguarding responsibilities, and any necessary actions, such as informing Children’s Services. Explain what this process involves and what will happen next. Strive to create a shared understanding with parents, emphasising that everyone’s goal is to work together to help children thrive and reach their full potential. Any concerns raised should always align with this shared purpose.

To find out more about relational practice with parents, please visit relationalpractice.lgfl.net. In particular, we have a template for planning courageous conversations about safeguarding. We also offer a FREE 1-day training course for LGfL schools on “Courageous conversations and relational approaches to safeguard children”, please book here: safetraining.lgfl.net.

In the next blog article we will explore how to effectively engage parents in safeguarding processes and decision making. And don’t forget to catch up on the previous blog about the key components of relational practice.

*In this blog, for conciseness we refer to anyone who cares for someone under the age of 18, as a parent. However, in doing so we recognise that those who look after children are extremely diverse with regards to their relationship to children (e.g. family member, foster carer, family friend etc) and their own individual characteristics.